


safety is when i'm loved by you

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Mentor/Protégé
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21710494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jeno's confidant, Doyoung, witnesses Jeno's 3 crushes on his 3 best friends.And Jeno witnesses one of Doyoung's.Who isn't at least a little in love with their best friend?
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung & Lee Jeno, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	safety is when i'm loved by you

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this bc owive and i were contemplating about The Gays tm in nct (as a chill time btwn friends ofc!!! i assume nothing about nct). statistically speaking - about 5% of young adults btwn ages 18-24 identify as queer in western communities, i couldn't find a reliable source that has surveyed korean youths so i'm using this %. this is not w/o its flaws but it's the best we can do... to put this into context - ~10% of young adults in vancouver (west coast, canada, where i'm from) identify as queer. so!!! w/ 21 ppl there would be ~ 2 (it's delulu but pls let me project...)
> 
> & maybe i implied more but... 
> 
> sometimes it's hard to rmbr that society is so heteronormative when i'm writing this in the safety of my own bedroom, at 4am, tired and relaxed. sometimes it's difficult to rmbr that i can't kiss a girl in public due to the blatant homophobia that exists so prevalently even in this relatively safe society that i feel very lucky to be a part of. 
> 
> we discussed that perhaps one of the many reasons jeno is doyoung's favourite is bc they both gay. enjoy.
> 
> if you want to know whether or not any of the pairings listed are An Item in the fic before reading, please look at the end notes.

When the realization hits Jeno, like it inevitably does, once every few months, he curls in on self-pity and excuses himself from the party. Jaemin’s laughing with Donghyuck, brown heads bobbing. It’s easy during a time like this, when no one is looking for him, when the attention is on the stars of the joint birthday party. Jaemin and Mark both take attention so well too, center of the whirlpool. Jeno’s the only one trying to swim in the opposite direction.

He ducks between Jaehyun and Johnny, behind Taeil and Kun, and finds himself in the hallway, where the laughter from the party can still be perceived, but not obtained. So it’s quiet enough for him to wish that he were the one making Jaemin laugh like that instead.

Except it’s never been that way. He’s always just been lucky. Lucky to meet Jaemin on their first day, because making friends with Jaemin meant that he didn’t have to work for anything himself. Easy friendships came by like that. Donghyuck who’s loud and boisterous with the hyungs. Renjun who had been quiet, for maybe a week. Jeno never had to be perpetrator, because Jaemin always introduced him eventually, with that self-assured smile of his. That’s friendship right? Sure, Donghyuck and Renjun are both nice, they know what to say to water the seeds when Jeno doesn’t, but it’s always been more natural with Jaemin. Words bloomed from the giggles caught in his throat. Courage from racing Donghyuck for first place when Jaemin is cheering them on from behind. It’s all not very fair.

But love isn’t fair, thinks 16 year old Jeno, maybe a little mournfully, too many k-dramas, too many love songs.

 _My one and only_.

It’s cold, Jeno wishes he could head back to his room. It’s loud and cold and and dark and Jeno cannot go back to the dorm early because it’s Jaemin’s birthday party. The party is warm, full of life and friends, but Jeno’s 16 and he’s had to accept that he’s probably gay and likes his best friend (love is a strong word, after all). He thinks about futures and he’s crying because do futures without Jaemin exist? What’s the point of a future without Jaemin anyway? Jeno doesn’t want it.

What if Jaemin thinks he’s gross? It’s taken Jeno years to accept that he can never tell Jaemin. Wait for the secret in his heart to fizzle out, hopefully. Jealous of the way Jaemin and Renjun whisper in their room late at night. So petty. So stupid.

“Jeno?”

 _Crap_. Jeno has never been so annoyed at Doyoung’s soft, gentle voice as he hastily wipes away his traitorous tears. Hoping his eyes do not look as bloodshot as they feel. But even before that, his voice betrays him.

“Hyung? Um, I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

He turns away from Doyoung’s approaching figure, maybe by some stroke of luck, Doyoung has really terrible eyesight, even with glasses on.

“The bathroom? Never mind that, come with me.” Doyoung grabs Jeno’s hand, it’s bigger than Jaemin’s and very warm. They’ve been taught how important it is to display skinship, Jeno isn’t that great at it yet, the hyungs all say that it becomes easier and more natural as time goes on, and Doyoung seems especially comfortable at times.

He recognizes the corridors as the path towards the dream dorms, and hands his key to Doyoung. Doyoung’s only been here a handful of times, usually with other members.

Doyoung’s always been nice to Jeno, out of the older trainees, Doyoung is one of the easier ones to get along with. It helps that they’re all in NCT, his manager said, they’ll be familiar eventually, even though Jeno doesn’t quite believe it yet.

“Sit,” he tells Jeno when they’re at the foot of his bed, and Jeno does, mostly grateful that he’s no longer at the party, wracking his brain for an excuse instead. He misses his cats, something like that.

Doyoung comes back a minute later with a bottle of water that he twists open for Jeno, “Is this about Jaemin?”

Jeno looks up in surprise, so much for the excuse about his cats.

Doyoung shrugs at him, a gentle smile on his face, as though he remembers something about Jeno that he should not. A flash of cold runs down Jeno’s spine, and he feels his face numb. Could it be that the hyungs all knew? Laughing at big stupid gay Jeno? The thought is terrifying, Jeno wishes the ground can at least have enough mercy on him to swallow him right into hell if the sky won’t send a bolt of lightning and fry him right then and there.

“You’re mad at him right? What’s going on?” Doyoung says saintly, and Jeno raises his eyebrows in shock. “Unless it’s not? Oh… what could it be then?”

Jeno doesn’t answer, Doyoung’s insane.

“You can tell me you know,” Doyoung pats Jeno’s hand. _Truly a natural_ , a small voice in Jeno’s mind reminds him, “I won’t tell anybody.” He winks.

Doyoung’s eyes are round and honest, with a quality of assurance he doesn’t feel with any of the other seniors. He wonders if Doyoung has always been like that, certain and confident, if he has ever known insecurity like Jeno. He also thinks that Doyoung can never understand, the feeling of knowing an annual plant will bloom once and wither, yet still taking the time to love and smile at it everyday.

“I like Jaemin,” he blurts, it comes out low and urgent, every second bleeds into the dark room like impending death, that Doyoung will get up and laugh, tell Jeno to stop being weird, and laugh about it with everyone else. Jaemin too, probably.

“Is that why you were crying?” Doyoung’s hand is back on Jeno’s, squeezing.

Jeno nods, and for the first time in three years, the words come into solid form, in the shape of Jeno’s tears, witnessed by Doyoung. No matter how many times Jeno mouthed and whispered the words on his tongue in the dead of the night, it’s never felt real like this before. And he’s crying again.

“Jeno, oh Jeno,” Doyoung’s hand climbs up his arm to wrap around his shoulders, “tell me, why is this causing you pain?”

He was right, Doyoung can never understand. Who would reject Doyoung? He’s heard it before, tales of girls from Doyoung’s old high school slipping him love letters, waiting for him outside the company, bringing him flowers after choir performances. Not that Jeno’s never had his share of admirers, he knows as well as anyone that he has a cute face, and a smooth voice, it’s one of the first things he learnt after passing the audition. Donghyuck said it often too, but none of it matters because Jaemin will never love him back.

“Because we’ll never be together,” he murmurs through sniffles. Doyoung hands him a tissue.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s true.”

Doyoung’s back to squeezing his hand. “You know better than I do, and you know what you need to do if something’s not going to work out?”

Jeno shrugs, looks at Doyoung hopefully.

“You move on,” Doyoung says, eyes trained on Jeno’s.

And that, does make Jeno a little upset, but Jeno’s not anything if not polite, so he simply makes do with looking away.

“Talk to me whenever, okay? I’ll let them know you feel a little sick.” The bed dips and bounces as Doyoung releases his weight.

“Thanks hyung,” Jeno says to the door, about to snap close.

“Anytime,” Doyoung pops his head back in to smile.

It takes Jeno hours to sleep that night, but when he does, it’s dreamless and peaceful.

-

“He’s the sweetest person alive,” Jeno moans into his bubbletea, courtesy of Doyoung.

“What did he do now?”

Jeno looks up at Doyoung, who’s replying to a text message and sighs, “Hyung, you’d never understand.”

“Rude.”

“You don’t have anyone you like though, how would you understand?”

“How do you know I don’t?”

Jeno chews on a tapioca pearl. “Because you’d definitely tell me if you do, right?”

Doyoung looks up from his phone to wink at him.

-

Seasons slip in and out, and Jeno faces both difficult and simple things. The difficult being Jaemin’s health. Being left on his own was lonely at first, but Jaemin texts after physiotherapy and Donghyuck is very nice. The simple thing is falling in love with Donghyuck, like clockwork, Jeno is experienced with the familiar fluttering of anticipation now, of the pollen in his chest when Donghyuck leans against his shoulder, throws him sunny smiles. Donghyuck is so easy to love that Jeno thinks it’s inevitable.

And inevitable it is that, he finds himself in Doyoung’s room while Mark vents his anger in the practice room.

“I wish he would stop hurting.”

Maybe it’s just an unfortunate time for both of them, or fate, in Jeno’s opinion, that Donghyuck and Jeno would find each other, arm in arm, every time, when Donghyuck and Mark tear at each other’s hearts and Jaemin leaves a worrying hole by Jeno’s side,

“They’ve stopped rooming, it’s a matter of time now.” Doyoung’s on his phone again, same as always.

“What’s your opinion, hyung?”

Doyoung puts his phone down, “On their fight?”

“What else?”

Doyoung hums thoughtfully. Jeno turns to eye Mark’s side of the room, he’s been here on a few occasions, back when Donghyuck used to lie where Doyoung lies. Mark’s side of the room has always been a little unkempt in comparison to Donghyuck’s spotless nature, but it’s never been a disaster like this. Backpack haphazardly open on its side, the contents a mess of vomit pouring from its mouth. A piece of chicken that might be 3 days old, receipts, markers and pens.

“Maybe they need this, I don’t know. Maybe they need distance from each other too. Only they would know.”

He’s right, Jeno wants to say, but he respects Donghyuck too much, so he doesn’t. A very small, very guilty part of him doesn’t mind the fight too much, because it means Jeno’s the one Donghyuck attaches himself to after practice. All he needs to do is avoid looking at Mark’s stony expression as he leads them out of the practice room for refreshments. More than that, he doesn’t like seeing Donghyuck unhappy, and Donghyuck’s been unhappy a lot lately.

“I wish they resolve it soon.”

Doyoung hums his agreement, “Last night, Mark refused to eat dinner because Jaehyunnie was hosting a little movie night in his room, and he refused to be in Donghyuck’s living space.”

Jeno snickers a little, “At practice, Donghyuck tripped on Mark’s leg and they almost got into a fist fight.”

“So dumb. Why do you like him?”

Doyoung has always known how to catch him off guard in a way none of his friends can. Maybe it’s the age, but Jeno thinks it’s mostly just Doyoung’s genetic makeup. Intimidating, almost.

“Actually, I don’t really know if I like him. What if I only like him until Jaemin comes back? Like a placeholder? I don’t know, it’s a little scary.”

Doyoung laughs at that, “Well that’s an easy dilemma to solve isn’t it? Just wait for Jaemin to come back.”

Once again, Doyoung is right, Jeno plops himself down in the space beside him. His manager is also right, skinship can be learnt. Wryly, he snaps a picture of himself and Doyoung and sends it to the group chat. _Stealing Mark hyung’s roommate kekeke_.

-

Jaemin comes back, naturally moulds himself back into the hole he had left, but it’s not the same. Donghuck still makes Jeno double over himself when they hold hands. During photoshoots, Jeno wonders if Donghyuck can hear his heart pounding with how close he is tucked into Jeno’s side.

“Do you think he knows?” He whispers, the voice of conspiracies, into the air too dense after pausing the kdrama Doyoung had been watching.

“Know what?” Doyoung pops a chip into his mouth, unabashedly loud. Donghyuck can probably hear in the other room, hell, the whole of 127 can probably hear him, Jeno waves his hands at him urgently.

“How I feel about him?” He continues in the hushed whisper, resuming the drama to fill the space between them

Doyoung shrugs, his mouth moves from side to side with each munch, Ten’s right, he looks like a bunny rabbit. “Ask him.”

He kicks Doyoung and the chips spill all over his sheets, but when Jeno leaves, he thinks about how nice it would be to hold Donghyuck’s hand and know that he is being held back with the same kind of love. And how even if he doesn’t, he knows that Donghyuck would never hurt him.

-

“Oh Jeno,” Doyoung pulls him into a hug before Mark even scrambles out of the room.

“Jeno? You okay?” Mark asks, confused but concerned, one foot out the door.

“I’ve got him, just leave us alone for a while. Thanks Mark.”

Mark’s hands are hovering over Jeno’s back, but when he doesn’t receive a response, he cautiously removes himself from the room with a soft, “Alright hyung.”

For a while he just cries into Doyoung’s shoulder, slobbering over his T-shirt and loves the way his tears exist, loves that these feelings have a place to go. Doyoung’s hand is soothing against his back, soft strokes up and down, lulling him into soft hiccups, until the tears run dry.

“I confessed to him,” he says, sitting up and pulling himself away from Doyoung’s arms.

Doyoung nods to show that he’s listening, not that he would need to, with the way his eyes are round and concerned and far too soft.

“I shouldn’t have done that, I wasn’t planning to-”

Jeno’s phone rings, they both look down to see Donghyuck’s caller ID – choco ball.

“Are you going to pick up?”

Jeno declines the call, and watches as a text from Donghyuck inevitably pops up, he pockets his phone instead.

“What do I do?”

“He’s going to get worried,” Doyoung says. “I’ll text him, don’t worry.”

Jeno sighs, thankful for the first time Doyoung found him at Jaemin and Mark’s joint birthday party. Heartbreak hurts, but it’s not nearly as bad as he thought it would be.

The ache a dull thump in his empty, dry hands. Maybe it’s best that it happened like this, no flowers to throw away in the bin, no love letters to burn late at night, just the feeling of being in Donghyuck’s arms, still fresh, still raw, still hopeful.

“We just finished practice,” Jeno begins, Doyoung nods along beside him, “fooling around, as usual. The others left already but we stayed, I told him to take a look at a choreo I’ve been practicing.

“The mood, something, felt so right, then or never. I was so nervous, but not too nervous. And he said he doesn’t feel that way about me now, it’s not the right time, I’m a precious friend, that kind of thing. I don’t know, I didn’t know what to do, totally didn’t want to cry in front of him, that was so embarrassing.”

Doyoung laughs, short and light, “Good for you, you did it! It didn’t work out but that took a lot of courage, didn’t it?”

He looks at Doyoung’s shoulder, the one he’d just been crying on, they haven’t sat down for long but the tears have almost completely dried.

“Am I going to just move onto someone else now? Is Donghyuck and I going to pretend nothing happened and move on?” Pasts increasing, future receding, what is the point of it all? Would they be able to laugh about it one day? Donghyuck and Jaemin and Jeno? _Hey, I had a crush on both of you and confessed to one and you shot me down._ You don’t love me anymore? _Oh hell no, you wish._

Does it really work that way? It certainly doesn’t feel that way, not with the way his heart wails for Donghyuck’s love, his skin for Donghyuck’s touch. We could be so much more, but we’re nothing instead. Or maybe we couldn’t be anything at all, and I was the only one hoping, the only one hurting. That isn’t fair.

“There’s no way it works like that,” Doyoung pulls him from his thoughts, Jeno is only a little grateful. Wallowing in self-pity is a lovely thing, after all.

“You may love him this way, but it doesn’t mean it’s any more or less than the way he loves you. You must know Donghyuck loves you right? As one of his best friends? Besides, your feelings are real, you pushed them into existence, how brave is that? No regrets, set your spirit free.”

Of course he’s right, of course. On any other day, Jeno would agree, but it’s easier to believe that the world is hopeless than one (1) Lee Donghyuck does not love one (1) Lee Jeno romantically. Like the way his mother talked about her coworkers running out on the streets on the first of January in the year 2000, when she was pregnant with Jeno, the world might end, they told her conversationally, it’s not so bad for it to end like this right? She said she didn’t believe it, because her son isn’t here yet, and her son deserves to live a full life, so she cannot believe it. Jeno never really understood what she meant by that, but in this moment, when Doyoung speaks of nothing but his truth, Jeno understands.

“What if we’re awkward? What if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore?”

“Well, you’ll have to live with it if you’re a little awkward for a while. And if he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, then you say, ‘your loss, dumbass’ and move on.”

Once again, he’s right, and Jeno is back to crying into his shoulder. They would go buy bubble tea later, and Doyoung would treat Jeno to not one, but two pieces of cake, he would go back to the dorm feeling very empty, and they would be awkward for a few weeks, but in the long run, Jeno would remember the taste of rejection, numb on his tongue, and his bravery, worth not only two pieces of cakes but also the brown sugar milk tea he shared with Doyoung.

-

Jeno was wrong. And so was Doyoung. Maybe Doyoung less so since Doyoung never explicitly stated this but Jeno does not move on from Donghyuck in the way he thinks he should. Even when Donghyuck’s promotional activities with 127 keeps him away for the better part of a month, he finds himself missing his friend like a mosquito bite that never quite soothes.

But he gets to spend a lot of time with Jaemin, who’s very calming to be around, and Renjun, who might miss Donghyuck as much as he does.

“And when none of us were expecting it, Renjun turned off the lights only to turn it back on again. Back with his bullshit about how Renjun brightens the world. Chenle spat all over Jaemin’s pillow.”

Doyoung hums lightly, on his phone again, “Cute, you guys are so cute.”

“Are we now…”

“Yes you are! The cutest! You’ve been real close with Renjun lately, huh?”

Jeno picks at the grooves in his thumb nail, “Since we’re having a comeback, we’ve been spending a lot of time practicing together. Renjun’s always singing.”

“You should show me the song sometimes, Donghyuck keeps saying it’ll be a surprise.”

“Then it’ll be a surprise, hyung.”

Doyoung takes a hand off his phone to punch Jeno in the shoulder, “You’re all turning into such brats now that you’re of age.”

They sip on bubble tea in silence, Doyoung on his phone, and Jeno staring at the pearls at the bottom of his lemon green tea, Renjun’s recommendation.

“I think I might like him too. Just a little.”

Doyoung pockets his phone at this, “Who? Renjun?” He has a wide smile on his face, cheeks crinkling up with his effort.

“Yeah,” Jeno crinkles his nose, “I mean, I don’t really know yet. It doesn’t feel the same as it did with Jaemin, or Donghyuck, I’m so confused.”

Jaehyun had brought them their drinks, delivered to the door, Jeno wonders if Doyoung kicks Mark out every time or if he simply isn’t in the dorm very much. It could very much be either or, Jeno has barely seen Mark since he graduated.

“Don’t think too much, this isn’t something that can be solved with thinking anyway.”

“Really? Can you just stop thinking like that, hyung?”

Doyoung nods, “Sure I can. I do it all the time. Watch a drama or something. I’ll know when I know, and I’ll know how to think about it then, think about this as collecting data.”

“Have you _ever_ collected data before?”

“Oh sure, everything’s data. It’s what our brains do. Not that I know much about processing data. Science is so boring.”

“Hyung…”

“Anyway, whenever I start to think too much about Taeyongie, I just stop.”

Jeno spits his drink back out through his straw, it’s his own bodily fluids anyway. “Taeyongie hyung? You like Taeyongie hyung?”

Doyoung’s grinning again, from ear to ear, so widely that it doesn’t seem to be a secret, even though Jeno doesn’t know how to treat it like anything else. He’s radiating anticipation, ready for a fight, a confrontation, the first blast of the horn before the race begins and all the runners slice through the air.

“Don’t know when, but I think I know why.”

“Are you going to tell him?” Jeno’s grinning too. There are things that can only be done alone, and there are things that can only be done with someone else. This must be one of those things.

“Are you going to tell Renjun?”

Breathing, and living, and young. Jeno has an undercut, Jaemin a funny dye job that they had to do twice. Doyoung’s keychain is one that Taeyong bought him. Jeno should’ve known. From the book on the table that Doyoung doesn’t read to the bracelet on his wrist, Taeyong is everywhere in Doyoung’s world.

“I don’t know.”

Doyoung shrugs, “Isn’t it alright to be a little bit in love with your best friend? Out of everyone to love, that’s not a bad choice at all.”

“Do you think Taeyong hyung loves you back?”

“Duh. What’s there not to love? Taeyong loves me the most.”

Jeno grew up alongside Jaemin, Donghyuck and Renjun, he understands jokes when they’re being made. Perhaps it’s the alacrity of Doyoung’s voice, the uplifted pitch, or the way Doyoung has always carried himself, with such surety, that leaves Jeno thinking that maybe it isn’t quite a joke. Doyoung simply understands that Taeyong loves him, will love him for as long as Doyoung loves Taeyong. It’s so unfair if that’s true, because Jeno is a mass of contrasting memories and fluctuating ideals. A good kid. A sweet one. It’s not fair because Doyoung is good and sweet too, he wears ordinary in the best way possible. Isn’t it difficult, then, to not admire someone who is able to envy without malice, love without fear?

“Doyoung hyung, you’re so incredible.” He says sincerely, lets Doyoung laugh.

“What’s this all of a sudden?”

“Just stating facts. Maybe I _am_ thinking too much. Maybe I should stop categorizing all these relationships. You’re a hyung to me, and kind of a friend too, but perhaps the merging of these categories does not exist, and you’re completely separate from all of that,” he shares wholeheartedly, everything his 19-year-old brain can process.

“I don’t know about that. Jeno is my junior, but also my friend, right? I just leave it like that. Sometimes it is one, sometimes it is the other. Like if Renjun or Donghyuck were to become your lover, they would be your friend and your lover and your colleague, right? I don’t think anything is ever that rigid.”

Jeno shrugs, wouldn’t it be nice, to hold their hand, whose hand does he want to hold more? The age-old question. Is he really moving on from Donghyuck or is he just used to falling in love with his best friends? Does that diminish the relationship? Doesn’t your teenage brain ever get tired of these questions that have the simplest answers? Doesn’t it?

“I don’t think either of them would ever date me.”

“You ever talk to Donghyuck about it after you confessed?”

“Well, I avoided him like the plague, and then he hunted me down, said we’re too old to play hide and seek and to stop acting like Mark hyung.”

“He must really like you.”

That shuts Jeno up. He knows Donghyuck likes him a lot. He knows. So why isn’t it enough? Shouldn’t it be?

“He really does, huh? He told me he loves me and all, he doesn’t want to hurt me. And to tell him what I need, what he can do for me. Just to please communicate, because he hates having to guess.”

Doyoung’s eyes are soft and vulnerable, “What did you say?”

“I said that I just need some time. I’m okay. That kind of thing.”

“You know, he even came to me? Said he’s worried about you.”

“Ah.”

“So then, does it still feel bad? Knowing the person you fell in love with loves you this much? Does it still feel like a mistake?”

Not a mistake, is the first thing on Jeno’s mind. He doesn’t know when that answer changed, if he ever truly believed it was a mistake. Was Jaemin a mistake then? No, not Jaemin either. Not when they all love him like this. Even if they don’t love him, isn’t that okay? Is love really about being loved back?

But is it realistic to love without the desire of being loved back? Is that within the capabilities of mortal humans? Or maybe just Jeno?

“No,” he said slowly, “It’s not a mistake. I don’t regret it. But I can’t be happy like this either. I feel like pieces of me are missing, because the ideal me is happy. And sometimes I can’t help but wish that I never had these feelings at all, if they are also capable of making me feel so unhappy.”

For the first time in many months, Jeno feels peace. He’s not trying to coerce Doyoung into a perspective that would benefit him, in the very human way that he has wanted to when he feels hurt and insecure. This is between two confidants, an attempt for a denouement that probably won’t be found in this conversation.

“Look at you,” Doyoung laughs, “All grown up. This is the wonderful part. You get to decide everything. If these feelings are worth it, you get to decide if they hurt you. And maybe what you decide will matter.”

*

When Jeno receives the text, he pushes a sleeping Renjun off his lap and waves a goodbye to Jaemin and Jisung, who’re playing some newly released first person shooter. He recognizes Doyoung from his profile, even with a cap and mask on.

Jeno walks up to him with quick steps, feeling more excited than Doyoung looks. “Hey hyung, what did Taeyong hyung say? Hit me with the deets.”

Doyoung lifts an eyebrow and frowns at him.

“What’s with you guys? I’m not into BDSM.”

**Author's Note:**

> jaemin - jeno's crush btwn 13-16 yrs old, no confession  
> donghyuck - jeno's crush from 17 --> ?, confession  
> renjun - jeno's confused??? 19 --> ?, no confession  
> taeyong/doyoung <3


End file.
